Better Tasting Than Ever!

Let me start by saying I am a picky eater. There. I said it, so no one (meaning you mom and dad) needs to keep pointing that out to me. I am well aware that I have a habit of turning my nose up at the food that is set before me. But that's mainly because the food set before me is, to put it quite simply, crap! Dog food is just not that tasty folks! Despite what many people seem to think, we dogs aren't hopping for joy when you put those hard little chunks or slimy oozy globs of mushy stuff in our bowls. Now you may be one of those people whose dog scarfs down their dog food the second it's set before them. But the truth is, your dog isn't scarfing the food down because they love the taste. No, they are scarfing it down because they are afraid someone else might eat it! These dogs, who I'm sad to say aren't always that clever, seem to think that another dog, the cat, the bird, or even you dear human, might actually eat the food before they can. They aren't eager to eat, they are just really greedy and a little bit daft.

Speaking of daft...dog food makers seem to think they can put one over on all you wonderful dog moms and dads out there by making you think that their food "tastes great"! In fact, right now in my kitchen, sits a big bag of dog food that claims it is "Better Tasting Than Ever!" Just who, I would like to know, has determined this? Do the dog food companies have an actual person who tastes this stuff and decides it tastes great?? Or do they have a dog that does the tasting? Well if it is a dog it has to be a lab, since it's a well known fact those pigs will eat anything! (My apologies to my lab friends, but you know it's true!)

My mom and dad have tried just about every dog food out there on me. And I'm proud to say they've not found one I like yet! They say I'm picky, I like to think of it as having a "discriminating palate". In my almost two short years I've tried Iams, Science Diet, Purina Puppy Chow, Chicken Soup for the Pet Lovers Soul Dog food (yes, there is such a thing!), Beneful, Kibbles and Bits, Pedigree, Ol' Roy, Grandma's Recipes, Alpo, and zillions of other forgotten brands. But not one tastes as good as cat food! In fact, why do these dog food companies waste so much money on dog food tasters when they would save everyone a load of trouble by just making a dog food that tastes like cat food!! Because ALL dogs love cat food, it's scrumptious! Some really stupid dogs think cat food tastes good because it has cats as the main ingredient, but I happen to know that is not true. I've tasted my cat Bella plenty of times and she tastes nothing like Cat Chow!

Now my mom and dad (and I) know that conventional dog training wisdom says to get your dog to eat properly you must stick to one food and insist your dog eat it and if they don't then they go hungry till the next feeding time. And at different times in my life my folks have tried that but being the soft hearted lovies that they are they always give in. All I have to do is look very sad and pitiful and they cave and I get McDonald's! In case you didn't already realize this, looking sad and pitiful will get you a lot of things if you play it just right, the way we dogs do. My sad and pitiful looks have gotten me some really good grub, treats, toys and belly rubs! If you don't believe me try it next time you ask your boss for a raise and see if it works!

Before you worry that I am wasting away here, I DO manage to eat and my vet says I'm a good weight and very healthy. I will eat my dry kibble on the sly when no one is looking and I enjoy the odd can of slimy goo now and again. And I guess if I was being totally forthcoming I would admit that should my folks really decide to put their foot down and make me eat one food and one food alone I would do it. Because afterall, I am a dog, and we do love to eat! But lets keep that little fact a secret shall we? 'Cuz right now I have a real hankering for a burger and fries with a side of Whiskas! Time to put my starving sad face on!

Wags and kisses
Lexi