This is me (in case u hadn't guessed!)

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Fur-Friends, Fur-Relations & Fur-Enemies

I am a lucky dog in that I am surrounded by some very special fur-animals, both in real life and on the net. They help make my life so interesting! A dog needs interesting, otherwise we just get bored and lay around and sleep all day and get into general mischief. (all of which I do regardless anyway!)

I thought it was high time I introduce my blog followers to all of the interesting critters in my life, the good AND bad!

As many of you know here in my own house lives my evil cat sister Bella. She and I are the same age and have many of the same interests. Such as chasing each other, biting each other and when no one is looking giving each other cuddly snuggles. (keep that on the down lo please! I do have a rep to protect!) Bella likes to go out of her way to tease me and I respond by trying to stuff her head into my mouth. It's an odd relationship, but it works for us!

Bella has a bestie she likes to hang with during the warmer months when she goes outside. He is a straggly, ugly looking stray cat I have aptly named Sir Skanks A lot. This evil beast and my evil cat sister delight in taunting me from the other side of the fence. They also use the next door neighbor's vegetable garden as a giant litter box! I have tried to sound the warning about this each and every time it happens but unfortunately my people do not understand what I am trying to do so I get shouted at and dragged inside. Meanwhile Bella and Sir Skanks A lot pee and poop and dig around in the veggies to their hearts content.

I've come to learn though that not ALL cats are bad. Take for instance, my internet pals The Wonder Cats. I love these these three little kitties so much I have made them honorary dogs! They sure know how to entertain with their playful antics. But the best part is that they barf on a regular basis! Now for a dog there is no better entertainment than seeing someone or something barf. I know it sounds gross, but if you were a dog trust me, you'd enjoy it too! After all, when someone pukes you get to see the food all over again! So big slurpy kisses to my Wonder Cats, they are awesome! Barf away my friends, barf away!

But I am a dog of course so most of my favorite anipals are canines. There is my Uncle Bubba who belongs to my grandma. Bubba is a rat terrier and in dog years is about one hundred zillion years old. Mom says he is a Grumpy Old Man. I say he is fun to jump around on and kiss, even if he does try to tear my face off on a regular basis! Grandma used to have another little doggy named Baby, who was a mini pin. She was about the size of a large rat, but she had a big dog personality so she and I got along great! My favorite game to play with Baby was "Somersault"! That's when a 74 lb. German Shepherd charges at a 6 lb mini pin and sends her head over heels! Great fun!!! Unfortunately Baby, like a lot of teeny tiny dogs, had a problem with learning not to poop and pee in the house and Grandma could not handle her anymore. So she found another loving family who has taken her in. I hope she is happy, I sure do miss somersaulting her!

My grandpa has a Border Collie named Patches. Patches was born deaf and a little bit daft, but she is great fun too. Although like Bubba she sometimes likes to try and rip my face off! (what is IT with these older dogs going after my delicate face???) Mom says Patches is in her own little world and I guess I would have to agree. Sometimes Patches barks at things that are not there and runs around in circles about 200 times before collapsing. But hey, she is great entertainment so I don't care how squirley she acts, she's having fun and so am I!

Yes I have a great many fur pals but I will admit, my all time favorite play mates are my three human siblings, Squeezy, Happy and Screechy. They might not have much fur, but they do barf on occasion and run around in circles and act completely mad, which makes them A-okay in this doggy's book!

So go hug your favorite Ani-pals today, afterall, think of how boring your life would be without them!

Until next time
Wags and Kisses

Wednesday, February 9, 2011


A strange new contraption has appeared in my house. It's called a "fish tank" Mom brought it home the other day and she and my big sis Squeezy put tiny little blue rocks and fake plants inside then filled it with water. Now they tell me that in a few days they plan to add some fish. Fish! In my house! Not fish to eat mind you, not fish to play with, but just fish to....watch. Mom says it will be "relaxing". I say it will be weird, and distracting, and I'm already being told if I put my wet nose on the glass and smear it all about I will get a whack!

This is just the latest in the string of really weird things my humans do and say. Things that just don't make sense to this dog. In fact, take the word "dog" for instance. In my world a dog is an adorable, smart, talented creature who requires constant pampering. But in the human world a "dog" can be many things. What I call a delicious tasty sausage, humans call a "hot dog". A hot dog???!!!! When I hear "hot dog" I'm thinking oh boy, is there a poor dog on fire??? Or, it's summer, and that is a hot dog! Or even, boy that lab across the street is sure a hot dog!! All those things make sense, the thought of a human eating a "hot dog" not only doesn't make sense, it's a bit scary! And sometimes a human will take a "hot dog" put it on a stick, cover it with deep fried cornmeal and call it a "corn dog"!!! Now how can that be right??? Wouldn't a "corn dog" actually mean a dog made out of corn?? Or a dog who lives in a corn field???

To add insult to injury humans even like to call an unattractive female a "dog"! Well thanks a lot people! I'll have you know we dogs are one of the most attractive, good looking creatures on this planet thank you very much! If you're looking for an animal to compare an icky looking person to try a cat or an iguana NOT a dog!

You two legged folks see no problem in using this odd language do you? But if a dog were to do the same I'm willing to bet you'd be mighty offended! How would you like it if instead of Kibbles and Bits we had a dog food called "Leg of Larry" or "Bits of Bob"?? And I can only imagine the uproar if we stuck one of you on a stick and deep fried you in batter!

It's not just dogs that get the brunt of your weirdness. Far be it from me to stick up for the feline population but I have to say that they too have been much maligned by the English language. An older female on the prowl for a younger man is called a "Cougar", a not so nice comment can be construed as being "catty". Then there are other confusing words, such as "catfish", which does not mean a fish that tastes like a cat. Supposedly it means a fish that LOOKS like a cat, though whoever came to that conclusion has some funny ideas of what a cat actually looks like! Last time I looked Bella didn't have any fins or scales - though maybe she's hiding them under all that fur!

Look, we dogs and cats love you guys, you feed us, pet us, spoil us, etc., but you have to be honest sometimes you are patently unfair to us as well. How come my dad can get away with passing all kinds of gas from every oriface of his body with nary a word from anyone, yet if I do the same I get shoved out of the house? And why is it all right for you humans to scratch in public, yet if I try to satisfy my own itches it's once again out the door with me? And the most confusing of all - why is it okay for you humans to get on the phone and yak yak yak, but if I go outside and try to chat up my anipal buddies with a good loud bark I get shouted at and/or whacked on the head? How would you feel if the next time you're flapping those jaws your dog came up and whacked you upside the head with a newspaper and told you to shut up? Yeah, wouldn't like it much would you? I thought not!

So I'm not asking for much here, just that maybe the next time you break out the grill to cook up some "dogs" remember your real dog, the kind that you hopefully would NOT eat. Call your dinner a "sausage" instead and cook up a couple for your precious pup. Remember, we may not be weird, but we think we're human too!

Till next time
Wags and Kisses from