This is me (in case u hadn't guessed!)

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Why Does My Dog Do That???

If you are a dog, like me, many are the times you hear "Why do you do things like this???" when all you are doing is behaving like your normal wonderful self. As a species you humans are so difficult to figure out, we dogs however, shouldn't be that hard, but apparently to you guys some of what we do remains a mystery. That is why I have decided to answer some simple questions about some of the things we dogs do that have you humans flummoxed.

Question: Why does my dog feel the need to follow me to the bathroom every time I go, and why does he have to sit outside the door and whine and cry until I come out?

Answer: The reason we do this is because we are afraid you will go in there and not come back out! We've seen with our own eyes how that thing you call the toilet (and what we call our extra water bowl) will suddenly make a hideous noise, swirl around like crazy and then whatever is inside it disappears! Who would feed us if that were to happen to you? And an even more important question, how can I stuff Bella in there? (kidding!)

Question: Sometimes my dog runs around in circles for no apparent reason. What does this mean?

Answer: It could mean your dog is bored and needs you to play with him, or give him a cuddle. Then again it could just mean your dog is very weird!

Question: Why does my dog suddenly go crazy and run around like a maniac?

Answer: We like to play "mad dog" and "crazy wolf"! Those are our favorite games, aside from "eat the cat". Besides running around like a maniac is very therapeutic! Try it sometime!

Question: Why does my dog seem to worship my husband when I, the wife, am the one caring for my dog all day? What's my husband got that I don't have?

Answer: Your husband is the alpha male, you as the wife are the alpha female, but in the doggy world males come first (sorry, it sucks I know, but that's the rule!) So we kiss daddy first and love on him like crazy then you get your turn. But don't worry! If we are sick and feel pukey then the rules reverse and we come find you! Feel better now??

Question: Why does my dog go out to pee, then two seconds later come in and pee all over my floor??

Answer: If your dog is doing this suddenly he could be sick, take him to the wretched evil vet ASAP! If however your dog does this all the time he's just messing with you for a laugh! Sometimes we are naughty like that! (on a serious note, any time your dog doesn't seem "right" take him to the vet, better safe than sorry!)

Question: Do you think it bothers my dog that he/she is fixed and will never have puppies?

Answer: You can't miss what you've never known, right??? Just give us lots of our own little stuffed lovies to chew on and we won't miss the pups we never had!

Question: Lexi, is it true that you are the most awesome, beautiful, smart, talented dog on the planet?

Answer: Why, yes, yes it is! Thanks for pointing that out! xoxoxoxo

Question: Why does my dog sometimes stare at me for long periods of time and I can't figure out what they are trying to tell me?

Answer: When we do this we are trying to read your mind and more often than not we can't find anything worth reading! (ouch, that was a bit "catty" wasn't it??)

Question: Why do you like to put Bella's head in your mouth?

Answer: Because that's the only part that will fit!

Question: Why do you eat poop??? It's so gross!

Answer: Hey, I eat poop, you people smoke cigarettes & cigars and drink nasty beer, etc! To each his own!

Question: Why does my dog turn around three times when he has to poop or lay down to sleep?

Answer: Sorry, that's a closely guarded doggy secret! I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you so let's let it drop!

That's all I have for now! If you have any doggy mysteries you can't figure out, post them to me and I'll see if I can help unravel the mystery for you!

Till next time

Wags and kisses

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