The Ears Have It

I have lovely ears, they are in fact my best feature.  People pay lots of $$$ and spend lots of time to get their dogs ears to stand up as beautifully as mine do.  German Shepherds are notorious for having the "ear flops" early on and people go to the most extreme measures to get those suckers to stand up.


Some of my litter mates had the "ear flops" but not me!  No my friends, LexiDogWeather's ears stood up practically from birth!  In fact it was my ears standing at attention that caught Mom's eye when she first saw me.  She saw me prancing around proudly full of confidence and bravado and knew right then I was the perfect dog.  

Squeezy and Me as a Pup, Proof I was Perfect!

Lucas finally gets it!

There are lots of dogs out there whose ears take forever to stand up.  Take Lucas for instance.  When he was a little pup his ears were sloppy floppy.  Oh sure everyone said it made him look cute, like a little grizzly bear.  I just thought it made him look like a doofus!  After a little while he did manage to get one ear to stand up, but the other still flopped down.  Now he looked even doofier!  Finally just a little while ago Lucas managed to get both ears to stand up.  It only took him five months to do what I had been able to do since birth!  Look, I'm not trying to sound smug, I'm just reminding everyone just who the top dog is in this house!

Floppy Eared Doofus

Now while I plainly adore my ears there are times when they do cause me trouble.  They are my biggest "tell" unfortunately, if I have done something wrong and I feel guilty my darn ears give me away.  I can't control it really or trust me I would!  I chew up Dad's shoes or get into the garbage and my ears slowwwwllly disappear against my head until it looks like I'm earless!  Mom takes one look at me and says, "Alright, what'd you do?"  

"Oh I'm So Guilty Ears"

"You better watch yo butt Ears"

"The Whacchoo Talkin' 'Bout Willis Ears"

You can always tell how I am feeling by the position of my ears.  If I am feeling sickish I will have one ear up and one ear down - that means you have approximately ten seconds to get me outside before I blow from one end or the other!  If I am sad I get "bat ears" meaning my ears stand out kind of sideways from my head like a bat!  Ears straight up and turned right towards you.....ummm you better run buddy - those ears mean a German Shepherd on your behind!    But ears looking beautiful and turned just right and me looking gorgeous?  Well that's just me, LexiDogWeather in all my glory.


Don't feel bad humans that your ears can't do much but sit there on the sides of your head, we can't all be perfect.  


Oh and one more thing about dog ears, they are excellent for listening to hear the sound of the can opener for dinner...which I hear right now!  So....


Till next time
Wags and Kisses
Lexi

Sum-Sum Summertime!

Well today is the official first day of Summer!  I have admit this is not my favorite season.  Maybe if I didn't wear two heavy coats of fur I'd think differently, but I much prefer winter time when I can roll around in that cool, crisp snow to this current season which finds me panting, itching, sneezing and usually in a bad temper.  You see in addition to suffering from the heat I also suffer from allergies!  You read that right, us doggies can get seasonal allergies too, I have hay fever just like my mom and big sis Squeezy.  Every spring I have to make a visit to the dreaded Vet's office to get my allergy shot, which makes things a bit more tolerable.

My "Wet" Look!

To help combat the heat and keep us comfortable this year Dad bought us a little wading pool!  Supposedly it's for the human kids in the house, but who are they kidding?  Lucas and I have commandeered the pool for our own uses..such as wading, paddling, dunking Bella...you get the picture!


Unfortunately big sis Squeezy seems to have a "problem" with us soiling her precious little pool on the occasions she decides to use it.  Apparently she doesn't like to swim among sand, dirt, bugs, grass clippings and the occasional doody that Lucas lets loose!  Gosh, as long as I live I will never understand these humans!

Killing the evil water snake!

Lucas playing dead, hoping the hose won't notice!

To keep the peace Dad sometimes breaks out the hose and sprays us, which Squeezy and I love and Lucas hates. Poor dumb pup is terrified of the hose and runs and hides when he sees it coming.  Not me though!  I like to pretend that spray of water is a big scary snake and my job is to kill it dead!!!  

Action Shot!

Aside from the water there are a couple of other things I do like about Summertime.  Grilling would have to be on the top of that list!  Every year Dad gets the grill out and cooks up the most delicious smelling sausages and burgers!  And every year I plant myself next to that grill and wait patiently (okay not always THAT patiently) for my portion!  Unfortunately this year I have to share with Lucas, but it's still one of the highlights of the season.


The only other thing I like about summer is that's when the best bugs come out and I get to go bug hunting. If you haven't gone bug hunting yet you don't know what you're missing.  There is an art to this and few people realize that us dogs have it down to a science.  I stalk my prey silently....waiting till just the right moment then I POUNCE!  Tigger-like with both front paws, squishing that bug flat!  Then I eat it!  Yum!!!


So enjoy your Summertime folks, it's a long hot season and I can't wait for the cold of winter...but in the meantime I'll try to enjoy it too with as little complaining as possible.  Happy Bug hunting!


Wags and Kisses
Lexi

Lucas

As many of you may or may not already know we've had a new addition to our family in the shape of Lucas, an 8 week old long coated German Shepherd pup. I knew this was coming, there have been ominous rumblings in the house for many months now about the possibility of getting a new playmate for yours truly. Apparently my folks have a problem with my laying around all day and napping! I myself did not realize this was a "problem". But according to them I should be running around outside all day jumping about and playing and acting silly (which I actually DO FYI!). So it was decided a new puppy would be just the thing to keep Lexi young and sprite.

Lucas might not make me young and sprite but he does make me quite crazy! He is cute, I will grudgingly admit, and he looks a lot like a tiny bear cub. But he has very sharp razor like teeth and an annoying yappy bark which grates on my nerves so much that I sometimes have to sit on him to get him to shut up! Also he tries to snitch my food which is absolutely, positively not to be tolerated! So when that happens I have to go all mother wolf on his sorry tail and bite and growl and pretend to be quite vicious to get my point across. And then the big baby cries and whines and carries on and mom and dad come running, I get shouted at and Lucas gets cuddles! Patently UNFAIR!

Everyone loves Lucas, oh he's so cute, so cuddly, so blah blah blah! Even my human siblings are in awe of him, chasing after him, sharing their cookies with him. That's hard to take when those chases and cookies used to be reserved just for me. I had thought that I would at least have an ally against Lucas in my cat Bella. After all Lucas has even sharper teeth than me and he's too stupid at this point to know the proper way to use them. But that darn cat actually seems to like the little cretin! Why last night she even kissed him on the nose while he slept! I'm flummoxed! Completely flummoxed!

I am told that when fully grown little Lucas will outweigh me by about forty pounds which is a bit irritating to say the least. So I had better whip him into shape now while he's still little, make him know that I, LexiDogweather, am top dog in this household and I always will be. As long as the little turkey toes the line we should have no problems. And I might even play with him on occasion if the spirit moves me.

So welcome to our family, little Lucas. And everyone else, buckle up for the ride - it just might be a bumpy one!

Wags and kisses

Lexi

Rest In Peace Patches

My grandpa's dog Patches went to doggy heaven today, April 28, 2011. Patches suffered from seizures and finally had one that could not be stopped. We will miss her dearly but at least she is no longer suffering and is in heaven chasing butterflies that only she can see!

Rest in peace you silly old dog!

Your pal

Lexi :(

An Original Poem by LexiDogweather

DON'T HATE ME

Don't hate me cuz I'm beautiful

Don't hate me cuz I'm fat

Don't hate me cuz I like to chase

That rotten little cat!

Don't hate me cuz I eat a lot

Don't hate me cuz I chew

I know I just might bark a lot

But hey, so do you!

Sometimes I know I am a pooper

But that's okay cuz you have the scooper!

So just love me lots and lots and lots

Because I am so super!

-Lexi Dogweather

And now a word from our cat, Bella

Okay this bites, but mom says I must allow Bella a chance to address my frequent "attacks" (mom's word, not mine!) on her! Give me a break. Whatever. So here's the stupid cat.

Hello all, this is Isabella Ann Fairweather, or Bella for short. I believe you have heard about me from my big horrible smelly sister, Lexi. From what I understand she is quite the blogger, and enjoys sharing her little tales with you, mainly about moi and how she continually tries to eat me. I also understand she is fond of bragging about her so called "good looks" and "intelligence"and "talents". Barf.

Listen folks, I am not going to blather on and on about mundane events or brag about myself (though I will admit I am EXQUISITE). Instead I am going to tell you all you need to know about that big furry behemoth I call my sister. In fact, I am going to tell you all you need to know about every single canine on this planet. Are you ready? Wait for it..wait for it.....okay here it is....the TRUTH about dogs: THEY ARE STUPID.

That is all. Carry on.

Meow, purr, blah blah blah

Bella

We now return you to your regular stupid dog programming. Enjoy if you must.

Fur-Friends, Fur-Relations & Fur-Enemies

I am a lucky dog in that I am surrounded by some very special fur-animals, both in real life and on the net. They help make my life so interesting! A dog needs interesting, otherwise we just get bored and lay around and sleep all day and get into general mischief. (all of which I do regardless anyway!)

I thought it was high time I introduce my blog followers to all of the interesting critters in my life, the good AND bad!

As many of you know here in my own house lives my evil cat sister Bella. She and I are the same age and have many of the same interests. Such as chasing each other, biting each other and when no one is looking giving each other cuddly snuggles. (keep that on the down lo please! I do have a rep to protect!) Bella likes to go out of her way to tease me and I respond by trying to stuff her head into my mouth. It's an odd relationship, but it works for us!

Bella has a bestie she likes to hang with during the warmer months when she goes outside. He is a straggly, ugly looking stray cat I have aptly named Sir Skanks A lot. This evil beast and my evil cat sister delight in taunting me from the other side of the fence. They also use the next door neighbor's vegetable garden as a giant litter box! I have tried to sound the warning about this each and every time it happens but unfortunately my people do not understand what I am trying to do so I get shouted at and dragged inside. Meanwhile Bella and Sir Skanks A lot pee and poop and dig around in the veggies to their hearts content.

I've come to learn though that not ALL cats are bad. Take for instance, my internet pals The Wonder Cats. I love these these three little kitties so much I have made them honorary dogs! They sure know how to entertain with their playful antics. But the best part is that they barf on a regular basis! Now for a dog there is no better entertainment than seeing someone or something barf. I know it sounds gross, but if you were a dog trust me, you'd enjoy it too! After all, when someone pukes you get to see the food all over again! So big slurpy kisses to my Wonder Cats, they are awesome! Barf away my friends, barf away!

But I am a dog of course so most of my favorite anipals are canines. There is my Uncle Bubba who belongs to my grandma. Bubba is a rat terrier and in dog years is about one hundred zillion years old. Mom says he is a Grumpy Old Man. I say he is fun to jump around on and kiss, even if he does try to tear my face off on a regular basis! Grandma used to have another little doggy named Baby, who was a mini pin. She was about the size of a large rat, but she had a big dog personality so she and I got along great! My favorite game to play with Baby was "Somersault"! That's when a 74 lb. German Shepherd charges at a 6 lb mini pin and sends her head over heels! Great fun!!! Unfortunately Baby, like a lot of teeny tiny dogs, had a problem with learning not to poop and pee in the house and Grandma could not handle her anymore. So she found another loving family who has taken her in. I hope she is happy, I sure do miss somersaulting her!

My grandpa has a Border Collie named Patches. Patches was born deaf and a little bit daft, but she is great fun too. Although like Bubba she sometimes likes to try and rip my face off! (what is IT with these older dogs going after my delicate face???) Mom says Patches is in her own little world and I guess I would have to agree. Sometimes Patches barks at things that are not there and runs around in circles about 200 times before collapsing. But hey, she is great entertainment so I don't care how squirley she acts, she's having fun and so am I!

Yes I have a great many fur pals but I will admit, my all time favorite play mates are my three human siblings, Squeezy, Happy and Screechy. They might not have much fur, but they do barf on occasion and run around in circles and act completely mad, which makes them A-okay in this doggy's book!

So go hug your favorite Ani-pals today, afterall, think of how boring your life would be without them!

Until next time

Wags and Kisses

Lexi

IT'S OFFICIAL - HUMANS ARE WEIRD!

A strange new contraption has appeared in my house. It's called a "fish tank" Mom brought it home the other day and she and my big sis Squeezy put tiny little blue rocks and fake plants inside then filled it with water. Now they tell me that in a few days they plan to add some fish. Fish! In my house! Not fish to eat mind you, not fish to play with, but just fish to....watch. Mom says it will be "relaxing". I say it will be weird, and distracting, and I'm already being told if I put my wet nose on the glass and smear it all about I will get a whack!

This is just the latest in the string of really weird things my humans do and say. Things that just don't make sense to this dog. In fact, take the word "dog" for instance. In my world a dog is an adorable, smart, talented creature who requires constant pampering. But in the human world a "dog" can be many things. What I call a delicious tasty sausage, humans call a "hot dog". A hot dog???!!!! When I hear "hot dog" I'm thinking oh boy, is there a poor dog on fire??? Or, it's summer, and that is a hot dog! Or even, boy that lab across the street is sure a hot dog!! All those things make sense, the thought of a human eating a "hot dog" not only doesn't make sense, it's a bit scary! And sometimes a human will take a "hot dog" put it on a stick, cover it with deep fried cornmeal and call it a "corn dog"!!! Now how can that be right??? Wouldn't a "corn dog" actually mean a dog made out of corn?? Or a dog who lives in a corn field???

To add insult to injury humans even like to call an unattractive female a "dog"! Well thanks a lot people! I'll have you know we dogs are one of the most attractive, good looking creatures on this planet thank you very much! If you're looking for an animal to compare an icky looking person to try a cat or an iguana NOT a dog!

You two legged folks see no problem in using this odd language do you? But if a dog were to do the same I'm willing to bet you'd be mighty offended! How would you like it if instead of Kibbles and Bits we had a dog food called "Leg of Larry" or "Bits of Bob"?? And I can only imagine the uproar if we stuck one of you on a stick and deep fried you in batter!

It's not just dogs that get the brunt of your weirdness. Far be it from me to stick up for the feline population but I have to say that they too have been much maligned by the English language. An older female on the prowl for a younger man is called a "Cougar", a not so nice comment can be construed as being "catty". Then there are other confusing words, such as "catfish", which does not mean a fish that tastes like a cat. Supposedly it means a fish that LOOKS like a cat, though whoever came to that conclusion has some funny ideas of what a cat actually looks like! Last time I looked Bella didn't have any fins or scales - though maybe she's hiding them under all that fur!

Look, we dogs and cats love you guys, you feed us, pet us, spoil us, etc., but you have to be honest sometimes you are patently unfair to us as well. How come my dad can get away with passing all kinds of gas from every oriface of his body with nary a word from anyone, yet if I do the same I get shoved out of the house? And why is it all right for you humans to scratch in public, yet if I try to satisfy my own itches it's once again out the door with me? And the most confusing of all - why is it okay for you humans to get on the phone and yak yak yak, but if I go outside and try to chat up my anipal buddies with a good loud bark I get shouted at and/or whacked on the head? How would you feel if the next time you're flapping those jaws your dog came up and whacked you upside the head with a newspaper and told you to shut up? Yeah, wouldn't like it much would you? I thought not!

So I'm not asking for much here, just that maybe the next time you break out the grill to cook up some "dogs" remember your real dog, the kind that you hopefully would NOT eat. Call your dinner a "sausage" instead and cook up a couple for your precious pup. Remember, we may not be weird, but we think we're human too!

Till next time

Wags and Kisses from

Lexi