This is me (in case u hadn't guessed!)

Monday, July 22, 2013

I fought the Pooper Scooper....and I WON!

I don't mean to brag but I don't think there is a pooper scooper in this town that can take me on and win! Maybe I can't destroy the vacuum cleaner or the lawn mower (yet!) but I have destroyed not one, but TWO pooper scoopers! Woohoo for me!

Okay you may be asking just what is my beef with the pooper scooper.  I just don't see the point of the picking up or "scooping" of my glorious pile of poop from the pristine yard.  I mean, I worked really hard to create that masterpiece, and let me tell you, sometimes it don't come easy!  Do you know how much food I have to eat to create a good size pile?  Do you know how much garbage I must rifle through to get just the right consistency, form, and especially smell?  It's not easy, I tell you, but all great artists must suffer for their craft and I'm no different.

And yes, stupid Lucas does contribute to the "art" once in a while, but lets be honest. His piles are nothing like mine, I mean any dog can dump a load the size of an elephant, it takes real talent to scatter your artwork gracefully around the yard in just the right places to guarantee prime "steppage" areas as I like to call them.  Oh yes, were you wondering if we dogs deliberately poop just where you humans are most likely to step?  Of course we do!  Your bare feet make the most wonderful patterns after all!  I'm being generous by letting you contribute to the overall project!  You should be grateful!

My mom is many things when she steps in my poop, but grateful, unfortunately doesn't seem to be one of them!  She gets downright cross for some odd reason.  Which brings me back to the ruined pooper scoopers....

So yes, I destroyed two of them...it's easy enough to do, you just grab them and chew them into bits and the deed is done. Easy Peasy folks. :P

Just don't count on your humans being happy about it.  Mom had to scoop my poop with the remains of the last pooper scooper and a stick. Lucas and I thought that was pretty funny.  It was even funnier to keep running in circles around mom and nearly knocking her over while she was bending over scooping poop with her little stick .  She was muttering all kinds of funny words that I can't repeat here!

Dad went to the pet store and came home with a new pooper scooper.  This one is made of wood and metal and the silly 'rents think I will not be able to destroy this one.  Because dogs don't chew wood....yeah right...*snicker snicker*

Need a toothpick anyone?  I should have several ready for you real soon, just as soon as I finish with my "artwork" out in the yard!

Happy Scoopin & Wags!

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Long time no post! (just lots of digging, itching, panting, etc etc etc)

Arrroooooo!!!  I'm so sorry I haven't posted in furreverrrrr!!!  It's not my fault, honest! Mom has been hogging the computer big time and simply won't get off even when I give her my sad sorry pouty puppy face. What is wrong with that woman??  Doesn't she know I need to update my own blog once in a blue moon!  Good gravy!

So let's see, what have I been up to since I posted last?  Ummmm....doing a lot of scratching as per usual, lots of turning my nose up at my dog food, lots of digging, bug hunting, cat harassing, Lucas bullying, toddler dodging, face licking, pooping and butt sniffing.  So pretty much the usual.

Oh and don't forget sleeping!  I take several beauty naps a day, a girl has to keep up her appearance after all, right?  Mom says I am turning into a lazy old lady, which is pretty high talk from a 44 year old human. Just sayin'....

The rest of the clan is doing well, Lucas is still an incredible doofus, though he is a much LARGER doofus than he was before.  He takes up way too much space if you ask me, but he does have his uses I guess.  And I can still whip his big furry butt so that's good!

And that stinkin' Bella? Oh yes, well she's still around, the other day I caught Lucas smooching on her when he thought no one was looking.  The secret cat lovin' doofus!  I kicked his butt of course.

Squeezy is still squeezing me but she doesn't pay me as much attention as before, mom says she is growing up and is a busy girl.  It makes me sad. :(  So I give her big smoochies whenever possible to remind her I am her super favorite #1 dog.

Screechy and Happy are still here too, but much much bigger.  Happy has abandoned me for that Doofus Lucas and Screechy, well I think I just might have re-name her Pokey. Because she keeps poking me in the eyes, ears, butt, it's getting rather annoying actually.  And BOTH Screechy and Happy have an unnatural attachment to that furball Bella.  I think Mom needs to step in and do an intervention over that one.  Personally I don't think Bella is a good influence.  She eats rodents after all! Ick!

And my dear old Dad?  He's still here too thank goodness!  We still hang out together and pass gas together, and eat junk food together.  He's an awesome dude!!!

Okay my friends, glad I could bring you up to date and I will try to post more if I can get Mom off the computer....maybe I could try locking her outside the house sometime....hmmmmm...it could work!

Till next time,
Wags & Kisses
From Lexi :P