This is me (in case u hadn't guessed!)

Monday, July 22, 2013

I fought the Pooper Scooper....and I WON!

I don't mean to brag but I don't think there is a pooper scooper in this town that can take me on and win! Maybe I can't destroy the vacuum cleaner or the lawn mower (yet!) but I have destroyed not one, but TWO pooper scoopers! Woohoo for me!

Okay you may be asking just what is my beef with the pooper scooper.  I just don't see the point of the picking up or "scooping" of my glorious pile of poop from the pristine yard.  I mean, I worked really hard to create that masterpiece, and let me tell you, sometimes it don't come easy!  Do you know how much food I have to eat to create a good size pile?  Do you know how much garbage I must rifle through to get just the right consistency, form, and especially smell?  It's not easy, I tell you, but all great artists must suffer for their craft and I'm no different.

And yes, stupid Lucas does contribute to the "art" once in a while, but lets be honest. His piles are nothing like mine, I mean any dog can dump a load the size of an elephant, it takes real talent to scatter your artwork gracefully around the yard in just the right places to guarantee prime "steppage" areas as I like to call them.  Oh yes, were you wondering if we dogs deliberately poop just where you humans are most likely to step?  Of course we do!  Your bare feet make the most wonderful patterns after all!  I'm being generous by letting you contribute to the overall project!  You should be grateful!

My mom is many things when she steps in my poop, but grateful, unfortunately doesn't seem to be one of them!  She gets downright cross for some odd reason.  Which brings me back to the ruined pooper scoopers....

So yes, I destroyed two of them...it's easy enough to do, you just grab them and chew them into bits and the deed is done. Easy Peasy folks. :P

Just don't count on your humans being happy about it.  Mom had to scoop my poop with the remains of the last pooper scooper and a stick. Lucas and I thought that was pretty funny.  It was even funnier to keep running in circles around mom and nearly knocking her over while she was bending over scooping poop with her little stick .  She was muttering all kinds of funny words that I can't repeat here!

Dad went to the pet store and came home with a new pooper scooper.  This one is made of wood and metal and the silly 'rents think I will not be able to destroy this one.  Because dogs don't chew wood....yeah right...*snicker snicker*

Need a toothpick anyone?  I should have several ready for you real soon, just as soon as I finish with my "artwork" out in the yard!

Happy Scoopin & Wags!

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Long time no post! (just lots of digging, itching, panting, etc etc etc)

Arrroooooo!!!  I'm so sorry I haven't posted in furreverrrrr!!!  It's not my fault, honest! Mom has been hogging the computer big time and simply won't get off even when I give her my sad sorry pouty puppy face. What is wrong with that woman??  Doesn't she know I need to update my own blog once in a blue moon!  Good gravy!

So let's see, what have I been up to since I posted last?  Ummmm....doing a lot of scratching as per usual, lots of turning my nose up at my dog food, lots of digging, bug hunting, cat harassing, Lucas bullying, toddler dodging, face licking, pooping and butt sniffing.  So pretty much the usual.

Oh and don't forget sleeping!  I take several beauty naps a day, a girl has to keep up her appearance after all, right?  Mom says I am turning into a lazy old lady, which is pretty high talk from a 44 year old human. Just sayin'....

The rest of the clan is doing well, Lucas is still an incredible doofus, though he is a much LARGER doofus than he was before.  He takes up way too much space if you ask me, but he does have his uses I guess.  And I can still whip his big furry butt so that's good!

And that stinkin' Bella? Oh yes, well she's still around, the other day I caught Lucas smooching on her when he thought no one was looking.  The secret cat lovin' doofus!  I kicked his butt of course.

Squeezy is still squeezing me but she doesn't pay me as much attention as before, mom says she is growing up and is a busy girl.  It makes me sad. :(  So I give her big smoochies whenever possible to remind her I am her super favorite #1 dog.

Screechy and Happy are still here too, but much much bigger.  Happy has abandoned me for that Doofus Lucas and Screechy, well I think I just might have re-name her Pokey. Because she keeps poking me in the eyes, ears, butt, it's getting rather annoying actually.  And BOTH Screechy and Happy have an unnatural attachment to that furball Bella.  I think Mom needs to step in and do an intervention over that one.  Personally I don't think Bella is a good influence.  She eats rodents after all! Ick!

And my dear old Dad?  He's still here too thank goodness!  We still hang out together and pass gas together, and eat junk food together.  He's an awesome dude!!!

Okay my friends, glad I could bring you up to date and I will try to post more if I can get Mom off the computer....maybe I could try locking her outside the house sometime....hmmmmm...it could work!

Till next time,
Wags & Kisses
From Lexi :P

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Trip to the Zoo Without You-Know-Who (Me!)

Potter Park Zoo, Lansing, Michigan
Today the entire Fairweather family paid a visit to Potter's Park Zoo in Lansing, Michigan. Oh wait..that's not entirely true is it? Not the ENTIRE family, for three very important (or at least one very important & two minor individuals) were left out of the trip.  That being ME, top dog extraordinaire Lexi, and my brofur Lucas and evil cat sister Bella.

You see, as I am sure you are well aware, us domestic animals, or pets as some of us are called, are not allowed in zoos. I say how rude! I mean please, will someone tell me just what the problem is? If anyone should be allowed inside a zoo it's us anipals after all! I mean, we're related to half the critters in there aren't we?  The wolves and big cats in mine and Bella's cases, the grizzly bears in Lucas's...

Timber Wolf, pretty sure we're kin!
Thank God Bella isn't this big!
Apparently the "argument" is that us dogs especially would bark and frighten the animals in the exhibits. Oh please! So you're telling me that the screaming infants, tantrum throwing toddlers, precocious pre-teens and music blaring actual teens aren't scaring them already?? Not to mention all the hard of hearing Grandma's and Grandpa's out there shouting to make themselves heard.

Lucas, it's your brother Fred!

But there you go, it's just yet another example of discriminatory behavior towards us poor persecuted domesticated animals. We get no respect, seriously. We can't go in grocery stores, restaurants, banks - unless you're one of those dinky tiny dogs people carry in purses, in which case I'm not even sure you're a real dog! Or if you live in France...apparently the French at least have proper MANNERS and allow their citizens to bring their best friends along when they dine, even in those fancy schmancy French restaurants where they serve gross stuff like snails...
Hey, Dad! How'd you get on my blog?

He's waiting for a nice kitty to play! hee hee!
So we didn't get to go to the zoo, I missed yet another opportunity to interview one of my ancient ancestors, the wolf. I also missed the opportunity to slide Bella through the bars in the monkey house, ha ha, that would have been fun, huh?

 I am holding out hope that someday the world will be a more enlightened place, one that does not discriminate on the basis of race, religion, color of skin or whether or not you are covered in fur, scales or feathers.  Ahhh what a wonderful, wonderful place that will be...

Till next time,
Wags & kisses
Lexi :P

Thursday, July 21, 2011

The Ears Have It

I have lovely ears, they are in fact my best feature.  People pay lots of $$$ and spend lots of time to get their dogs ears to stand up as beautifully as mine do.  German Shepherds are notorious for having the "ear flops" early on and people go to the most extreme measures to get those suckers to stand up.

Some of my litter mates had the "ear flops" but not me!  No my friends, LexiDogWeather's ears stood up practically from birth!  In fact it was my ears standing at attention that caught Mom's eye when she first saw me.  She saw me prancing around proudly full of confidence and bravado and knew right then I was the perfect dog.  

Squeezy and Me as a Pup, Proof I was Perfect!

Lucas finally gets it!
There are lots of dogs out there whose ears take forever to stand up.  Take Lucas for instance.  When he was a little pup his ears were sloppy floppy.  Oh sure everyone said it made him look cute, like a little grizzly bear.  I just thought it made him look like a doofus!  After a little while he did manage to get one ear to stand up, but the other still flopped down.  Now he looked even doofier!  Finally just a little while ago Lucas managed to get both ears to stand up.  It only took him five months to do what I had been able to do since birth!  Look, I'm not trying to sound smug, I'm just reminding everyone just who the top dog is in this house!

Floppy Eared Doofus

Now while I plainly adore my ears there are times when they do cause me trouble.  They are my biggest "tell" unfortunately, if I have done something wrong and I feel guilty my darn ears give me away.  I can't control it really or trust me I would!  I chew up Dad's shoes or get into the garbage and my ears slowwwwllly disappear against my head until it looks like I'm earless!  Mom takes one look at me and says, "Alright, what'd you do?"  

"Oh I'm So Guilty Ears"
"You better watch yo butt Ears"

"The Whacchoo Talkin' 'Bout Willis Ears"
You can always tell how I am feeling by the position of my ears.  If I am feeling sickish I will have one ear up and one ear down - that means you have approximately ten seconds to get me outside before I blow from one end or the other!  If I am sad I get "bat ears" meaning my ears stand out kind of sideways from my head like a bat!  Ears straight up and turned right towards you.....ummm you better run buddy - those ears mean a German Shepherd on your behind!    But ears looking beautiful and turned just right and me looking gorgeous?  Well that's just me, LexiDogWeather in all my glory.

Don't feel bad humans that your ears can't do much but sit there on the sides of your head, we can't all be perfect.  

Oh and one more thing about dog ears, they are excellent for listening to hear the sound of the can opener for dinner...which I hear right now!  So....

Till next time
Wags and Kisses

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Sum-Sum Summertime!

Well today is the official first day of Summer!  I have admit this is not my favorite season.  Maybe if I didn't wear two heavy coats of fur I'd think differently, but I much prefer winter time when I can roll around in that cool, crisp snow to this current season which finds me panting, itching, sneezing and usually in a bad temper.  You see in addition to suffering from the heat I also suffer from allergies!  You read that right, us doggies can get seasonal allergies too, I have hay fever just like my mom and big sis Squeezy.  Every spring I have to make a visit to the dreaded Vet's office to get my allergy shot, which makes things a bit more tolerable.

My "Wet" Look!
To help combat the heat and keep us comfortable this year Dad bought us a little wading pool!  Supposedly it's for the human kids in the house, but who are they kidding?  Lucas and I have commandeered the pool for our own uses..such as wading, paddling, dunking Bella...you get the picture!

Unfortunately big sis Squeezy seems to have a "problem" with us soiling her precious little pool on the occasions she decides to use it.  Apparently she doesn't like to swim among sand, dirt, bugs, grass clippings and the occasional doody that Lucas lets loose!  Gosh, as long as I live I will never understand these humans!

Killing the evil water snake!

Lucas playing dead, hoping the hose won't notice!
To keep the peace Dad sometimes breaks out the hose and sprays us, which Squeezy and I love and Lucas hates. Poor dumb pup is terrified of the hose and runs and hides when he sees it coming.  Not me though!  I like to pretend that spray of water is a big scary snake and my job is to kill it dead!!!  

Action Shot!
Aside from the water there are a couple of other things I do like about Summertime.  Grilling would have to be on the top of that list!  Every year Dad gets the grill out and cooks up the most delicious smelling sausages and burgers!  And every year I plant myself next to that grill and wait patiently (okay not always THAT patiently) for my portion!  Unfortunately this year I have to share with Lucas, but it's still one of the highlights of the season.

The only other thing I like about summer is that's when the best bugs come out and I get to go bug hunting. If you haven't gone bug hunting yet you don't know what you're missing.  There is an art to this and few people realize that us dogs have it down to a science.  I stalk my prey silently....waiting till just the right moment then I POUNCE!  Tigger-like with both front paws, squishing that bug flat!  Then I eat it!  Yum!!!

So enjoy your Summertime folks, it's a long hot season and I can't wait for the cold of winter...but in the meantime I'll try to enjoy it too with as little complaining as possible.  Happy Bug hunting!

Wags and Kisses

Saturday, May 14, 2011


As many of you may or may not already know we've had a new addition to our family in the shape of Lucas, an 8 week old long coated German Shepherd pup. I knew this was coming, there have been ominous rumblings in the house for many months now about the possibility of getting a new playmate for yours truly. Apparently my folks have a problem with my laying around all day and napping! I myself did not realize this was a "problem". But according to them I should be running around outside all day jumping about and playing and acting silly (which I actually DO FYI!). So it was decided a new puppy would be just the thing to keep Lexi young and sprite.

Lucas might not make me young and sprite but he does make me quite crazy! He is cute, I will grudgingly admit, and he looks a lot like a tiny bear cub. But he has very sharp razor like teeth and an annoying yappy bark which grates on my nerves so much that I sometimes have to sit on him to get him to shut up! Also he tries to snitch my food which is absolutely, positively not to be tolerated! So when that happens I have to go all mother wolf on his sorry tail and bite and growl and pretend to be quite vicious to get my point across. And then the big baby cries and whines and carries on and mom and dad come running, I get shouted at and Lucas gets cuddles! Patently UNFAIR!

Everyone loves Lucas, oh he's so cute, so cuddly, so blah blah blah! Even my human siblings are in awe of him, chasing after him, sharing their cookies with him. That's hard to take when those chases and cookies used to be reserved just for me. I had thought that I would at least have an ally against Lucas in my cat Bella. After all Lucas has even sharper teeth than me and he's too stupid at this point to know the proper way to use them. But that darn cat actually seems to like the little cretin! Why last night she even kissed him on the nose while he slept! I'm flummoxed! Completely flummoxed!

I am told that when fully grown little Lucas will outweigh me by about forty pounds which is a bit irritating to say the least. So I had better whip him into shape now while he's still little, make him know that I, LexiDogweather, am top dog in this household and I always will be. As long as the little turkey toes the line we should have no problems. And I might even play with him on occasion if the spirit moves me.

So welcome to our family, little Lucas. And everyone else, buckle up for the ride - it just might be a bumpy one!

Wags and kisses

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Rest In Peace Patches

My grandpa's dog Patches went to doggy heaven today, April 28, 2011. Patches suffered from seizures and finally had one that could not be stopped. We will miss her dearly but at least she is no longer suffering and is in heaven chasing butterflies that only she can see!

Rest in peace you silly old dog!

Your pal

Lexi :(