This is me (in case u hadn't guessed!)

Monday, July 22, 2013

I fought the Pooper Scooper....and I WON!

I don't mean to brag but I don't think there is a pooper scooper in this town that can take me on and win! Maybe I can't destroy the vacuum cleaner or the lawn mower (yet!) but I have destroyed not one, but TWO pooper scoopers! Woohoo for me!

Okay you may be asking just what is my beef with the pooper scooper.  I just don't see the point of the picking up or "scooping" of my glorious pile of poop from the pristine yard.  I mean, I worked really hard to create that masterpiece, and let me tell you, sometimes it don't come easy!  Do you know how much food I have to eat to create a good size pile?  Do you know how much garbage I must rifle through to get just the right consistency, form, and especially smell?  It's not easy, I tell you, but all great artists must suffer for their craft and I'm no different.

And yes, stupid Lucas does contribute to the "art" once in a while, but lets be honest. His piles are nothing like mine, I mean any dog can dump a load the size of an elephant, it takes real talent to scatter your artwork gracefully around the yard in just the right places to guarantee prime "steppage" areas as I like to call them.  Oh yes, were you wondering if we dogs deliberately poop just where you humans are most likely to step?  Of course we do!  Your bare feet make the most wonderful patterns after all!  I'm being generous by letting you contribute to the overall project!  You should be grateful!

My mom is many things when she steps in my poop, but grateful, unfortunately doesn't seem to be one of them!  She gets downright cross for some odd reason.  Which brings me back to the ruined pooper scoopers....

So yes, I destroyed two of them...it's easy enough to do, you just grab them and chew them into bits and the deed is done. Easy Peasy folks. :P

Just don't count on your humans being happy about it.  Mom had to scoop my poop with the remains of the last pooper scooper and a stick. Lucas and I thought that was pretty funny.  It was even funnier to keep running in circles around mom and nearly knocking her over while she was bending over scooping poop with her little stick .  She was muttering all kinds of funny words that I can't repeat here!

Dad went to the pet store and came home with a new pooper scooper.  This one is made of wood and metal and the silly 'rents think I will not be able to destroy this one.  Because dogs don't chew wood....yeah right...*snicker snicker*

Need a toothpick anyone?  I should have several ready for you real soon, just as soon as I finish with my "artwork" out in the yard!

Happy Scoopin & Wags!